Arthropoetry?
Well, I did it.
I done saw The Human Centipede.
And then, once I had finished throwing up thirteen or fourteen times, I decided to write a post about it.
Who knew I’d be testing my gluttonous resolve so severely, so soon? Now, anyone who has read even the faintest of descriptions of this . . . erm . . . experiment likely had one (or both!) of two thoughts: (1) I wouldn’t go near that putridity even if I could end all human suffering by seeing it; and (2) Damn, I might not be strong enough to stop myself from seeing that.
Now, I, of course, had no way out; it is the life I have chosen for myself. It is a life with costs, and this was one of them.
A light summary for those in the dark: a mad scientist who made a name for himself separating conjoined twins is determined to create (look out!) a human centipede. From three humans. Who are connected in a super-special way.
The acting is roughly of the caliber you would expect from a total gross-out flick, with the possible exception of Dieter Laser (the scientist of the hour), who is actually somewhat — can’t believe I’m going to apply this adjective to anything related — good. He’s the only one among them to have a full-blown career behind him. Finding someone who looked this creepy was undoubtedly a major coup for writer/director Tom Six. Laser’s jawline alone is a thing to behold.
But please don’t misunderstand! I am not recommending this film! Only a sadistic ogre would recommend a movie like this, and that is not the Arts Glutton you know and love! I am merely acknowledging its newly assumed place in the archives of postmodern cinema, and then I will — somehow — rise to face another day.
photo credit: bobistraveling
